| 1029 |
Have you ever wondered how you get triangles from a cow? You need butter milk and cheese and an equilateral chainsaw. |
Half Man, Half Biscuit, |
99% of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd |
| 1030 |
He licked his bowl and he looked at me, and then he did the wild thing on my leg. |
Tone Loc, |
Funky Cold Medina |
| 1031 |
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye. He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye. |
Frank Zappa, |
Nanook Rubs It |
| 1032 |
How does a duck know what direction south is and how to tell his wife from all the other ducks? |
Crash Test Dummies, |
How Does A Duck Know? |
| 1033 |
I am the walrus, googoog'joob, googoog'joob. |
The Beatles, |
I Am The Walrus |
| 1034 |
I could be the best vegan the world's seen, it's such a shame my doctor says I can't because I need the protein. |
Positively Positive, |
Vegan Revolution Draft Dodger Anthem |
| 1035 |
I don't want to be a tiger, tigers play too rough. I don't want to be a lion, cause lions ain't the kind you love up. |
Elvis Presley, |
Teddy Bear |
| 1036 |
I fear the monkey in your soul. |
Steely Dan, |
Monkey In Your Soul |
| 1037 |
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound. |
Weird Al Yankovic, |
Cockroaches |
| 1038 |
I love you baby, but I can't ball when I see those ducks on the wall. |
The Kinks, |
Ducks On The Wall |
| 1039 |
I make love to mountain lions, sleep on red-hot branding irons. |
Motorhead, |
I'm So Bad |
| 1040 |
I never kissed a bear, I've never kissed a goon, but I can shake a chicken in the middle of a room. |
Wanda Jackson; Elvis Presley, |
Party |
| 1041 |
I put her big booty on the zebra skin rug, she gave my balls a kiss, I gave her breasts a hug. |
Puff Daddy, |
Big Ole Butt |
| 1042 |
I remember Halloween, dead cats hanging from poles. |
Misfits, |
Halloween |
| 1043 |
I saw three shrimp in the water, two were old and gray. I swam a little closer, and I heard the third one say, good-bye Mama. |
Elvis Presley, |
Song Of The Shrimp |
| 1044 |
I saw you naked and you were chasing a pig. |
Dead Milkmen, |
Part 3 |
| 1045 |
I set my monkey on the log, and ordered him to do the Dog. He wagged his tail and shook his head, and he went and did the Cat instead. |
Bob Dylan, |
I Shall Be Free #10 |
| 1046 |
I wish I was in Tijuana, eating barbecued iguana. |
Wall of Voodoo, |
Mexican Radio |
| 1047 |
I'd like to be a jellyfish, 'cause jellyfish don't pay rent. |
Jimmy Buffett, |
Mental Floss |
| 1048 |
I'd like to be under the sea in an Octopus's garden in the shade. |
The Beatles, |
Octopus's Garden |